Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
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