No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Randomize
