You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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