You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
