Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
3 2 1 whiskey
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Randomize
