the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
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