You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
Hippo gnu deer
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
