As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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