i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Randomize
