By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
Randomize
