Jerry, you need to find god
Non-Jews are for practice
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Randomize
