If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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