my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize