Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Randomize
