Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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