i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
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