I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
