I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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