So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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