I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
