I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
Randomize
