Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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