You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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