What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
