Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
