Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
