but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Randomize
