Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
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