you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
