My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
PANTIES FOUND
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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