tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
