I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Randomize
