let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
