Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
