Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
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