You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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