totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
