he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
