She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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