I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
I am mentally ready for anal.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
