You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
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