Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
