I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
