you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
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