You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Randomize
