Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Randomize
