we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
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