Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I need a burrito and a hug.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
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