We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
