i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
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