I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
Randomize
