the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
PS: I just woke up from my shower
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
