I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
