marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize