i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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