i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
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