i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Randomize
