The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
