He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I'm getting married
To pizza
you never un-have a 4some
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Randomize
