walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Randomize
