call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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