All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize
