You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Randomize
