There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
