just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Randomize
