Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
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