so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
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