We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Randomize
