I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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