If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Randomize
